Saints Row (360)

Yes, its attempts to be cool and urban are teeth-grindingly awful.

And its attempts to be funny are buttock-clenchingly horrible.

It's a GTA clone with none of the wit, imagination or intelligence of Rockstar's masterpiece in terms of script or world.

But at its core, on a base game level - physics, controls, interface, mission design - it takes the GTA formula and - whisper it - makes a number of brilliant improvements, which all goes to make it huge amounts of fun.

Yes, fun.

It's just massive, massive FUN.

And, before we forget, incredibly awful.

I can forgive the rubbish wrapping paper, because the present inside is so great. But I understand why people can't.

Time Pilot (360)

My high score is now 112,500, which makes me the 881st best player in the world.

Seems deKay is trying to catch me up, but he's not succeeded yet. Ha!

Also tried the online mode. It's like playing offline, but jerky and your game finishes before you want it to.

Time Pilot (360)

This I like!

It's a classic arcade game that I don't think I've ever played before. And it's excellent. Lovely little fast-paced shooter. Quick, simple, fun, throws out achievements with gay abandon. Not that it always gives them out in the right places - I got the "Don't Lose A Life On Level One" on my first go, despite losing a life. (I'm assuming whoever coded that little forgot that you can get extra lives very easily.) I'm currently sitting on 103,000 points, top of my friends leaderboard and 1,225th in the world.

It is a bit shit that it doesn't remember the high score table and your graphics preference when you leave the game, though.

Orbital (GBA)

Another game that cost a tenner.

It hurt my head.

A lot.

I was pleased when, on stage four, I finally died.

Armadillo Run (PC)

Keep forgetting to post about this.

But I'm playing it, oh yes.

Up to level 45 now, and it's brilliant. One of the very best games you can get for a tenner, I'd say.

Elder Scrolls: Oblivion (360)

Downloaded the Mehrunes Razor expansion quest. Took two or three hours to get through and it was enjoyable, but I thought Mehrunes Razor itself was a dagger that killed in one hit. But, er, it doesn't seem to do much at all as far as I can see. People tend to glow orange for a while and that's about all. Oh.

I wonder if I'm using it incorrectly somehow?

Elder Scrolls: Oblivion (360)

So I started this up instead. Chose a quest I had lying around that didn't look too involved and set off.

Had to kill a load of ogres in a cave - which was easy enough, as I was very sneaky and had a magic bow. Found a sword that my fence had asked me to get for him, but it was an Honor Blade from a local town, so I thought they'd want it back. So, pausing only to feed on the blood of a sleeping tramp, I returned the sword and everybody was very happy. Except, I assume, my fence, but I'll avoid him for a while.

Also: Conjuring and trapping the souls of many scamps to recharge my magic weapons gets very boring.

Thief: Deadly Shadows (360)

Another game that's meant to be 360 only.

I tried it and it seems to output it at 50Hz, so my TV couldn't handle it. It worked if I flicked the switch to output a standard definition signal, but that's missing the point a bit... and the graphics are fucked in the game, anyway. Some details - such as fires and moonbeams - show through walls, furniture, characters, etc.

Do any Xbox games apart from Halo 2 actually really work on the 360?

Cloning Clyde (360)

Had neglected this since release day, or thereabouts, so it took me a few minutes to get back into it. But I'd soon completed two more levels and netted myself two more achievements. Hoorah!

Boiling Point: Road To Hell (PC)

This time I hit the quick save button a few times and didn't kill anybody. I drove arolund the jungle a bit, then swam across some water and got eaten, met some guerillas - who thought I was their new recruit - and some government troops - who thought I was their new recruit - and learned how to drive a boat.

And then I jumped around some houses and managed to fall on to a balcony I couldn't jump off, so I turned the game off.

Madden 07 Demo (360)

Tried it again and worked out the controls a bit more. Enjoyed myself and even scored a touchdown. Still not entirely comfortable with it, but I'm sure I could be if I bought the full game.

Alas, there are too many games coming out soon, so there's no way I can get this one, too. Sorry EA.

Texas Hold 'Em (360)

Won a couple of hundred bucks on a low stakes table, but my cards were rubbish so it wasn't much fun. Just a lot of folding.

Boiling Point: Road To Hell (PC)

Infamously buggy free-roaming FPS/adventure/RPG thing.

And it is buggy, oh yes. Subtitles don't match dialogue, dialogue often doesn't play, game crashed after half an hour or so of play. I'm not too bothered. I'd killed a woman in the starting town, so all the civilians either ran away from me or shot me, which was getting annoying. And I'd made enemies of the government by killing an informer in protective custody, so the police were shooting me every time I wandered into town, too. The bandits liked me, but who cares about them? And I kept dying and losing guns and stuff, which was annoying. Combat seemed to be all about the head shots, which would be fine if I could ever get any.

And, boy, it's ugly. I'm sure technically it's nice and clever and everything, but on normal settings everything looks horrible close up.

Galaga (360)

Nice. Upped my high score to 42,390 from around 28,000. Still rubbish, but I jumped up my friends leaderboard a fair way. I'm now on the first page, which is pleasing.

Game actually gets quite fun when you get further in, too. Pity I can't normally survive that long.

Madden 07 Demo (360)

Might be a decent game, but the demo's quarters are so short it's impossible to tell. And it needs a tutorial - not in American football, just in the game mechanics. Annoyingly, I'm impressed despite the demo. I think there could be a fun game there, under the EA menus, if they've not got annoying "get fifty times better in the last quarter" AI in there again.

Half-Life 2 Episode One (PC)

Oh.

An annoying boss fight.

Great.

That's enough of that, then.

Amped 3 (360)

"Gary's just this guy I know. He's really fast."

Just finished story mode. Took eight hours and forty-six minutes according to the stats page. About eight hours then, if we forget about the extra messing around I did. Just about the perfect length. Excellent game. Lots of variety, in both cut scenes and tasks. Some - like the snowmobile - would be horrible for a whole game, but for single levels here and there the worked well. I'd have liked some actually racing against people, or even just timed tasks without marked paths, but apart from that, very good stuff.

If it wasn't a launch title and didn't have the Amped name - it's nothing like the original Amped, as far as I remember - then I think reviews would have been much kinder.

Well worth £17.99 from Play. And there's still an awful lot to do now the story's over - that just opens up all the levels, doesn't complete them.

A very nice surprise this game. I give a curt nod of the head in appreciation.

Amped 3 (360)

Actually, I'm really enjoying this. It's nothing like Amped - apart from being a snowboarding game, obviously - and the story presentation is probably a bit Marmite - personally, I like the inventiveness even when it's being incomprehensible or falling flat on its face trying to be funny - but it's great. It's just a silly snowboarding arcade game with lots to do and an excellent difficulty curve. (So far.) I'm on the second mountain and am in one of the "build respect" bits, which I don't seem to be doing. Instead I'm just showing off and having fun.

Amped 3 (360)

Seems okay, but I've not played it much yet. Just did a couple of story missions and then got told to go forth and conquer, or something. It hasn't even told me all the controls yet!

Animal Crossing: Wild World (DS)

Popped into Venture for the first time in a couple of weeks.

Weeds everywhere.

But nobody has moved out and I shot down a golden slingshot! Yay!

Sniper Elite (360)

I bought this, although it's an original Xbox game, because it's meant to be playable on the 360.

Except it crashes after the first briefing and won't actually load the game.

Which is a bit rubbish, really.

Pac-Man (360)

Bah.

I tried, but I was rubbish today.

Texas Hold 'Em (360)

Made a little bit of cash at a $200 bind table, then found my way to a $20 bind table and made a cool ten grand. Nice. The cards were very much with me this evening.

Just Cause Demo (360)

Played my way through the demo again. Depite being glitchy and having some rather rubbish elements, it somehow manages to be excellent fun. Budget buy, I think.

Test Drive Unlimited Demo (360)

New demo.

It's rubbish.

I don't even want to waste time writing about it.

Just Cause Demo (360)

Better be bloody preview code. Glitching needing a reload (got trapped between two cars and couldn't move), followed by the whole bloody game freezing up just as I was about to complete the demo. Guide still worked fine, so I could exit the demo, but the game was frozen. Grr.

Apart from that, thought it was pretty good, but I prefer Saints Row and Dead Rising over it.

Texas Hold 'Em (360)

It's a poker game.

It's free. (At the moment.)

I've actually made money in single player and multiplayer this evening. Not a lot, but some.

Armadillo Run (PC)

Level 25 - Motor - is really hard, but I think I'm closing in on a solution. It's a really excellent game. Well worth a tenner.

Dead Rising Demo (360)

Still having great fun with this. And still finding new things. I hope the full game is as fun.

Saints Row Demo (360)

I can hold up shops now. Good way to get cash.

Cash for pipe bombs.

Armadillo Run (PC)

Okay, I got off level eight after looking at a (blindingly obvious in retropspect) tip.

Lots of levels fell after that, but I'm now stuck on Trigger. Not the Trigger part, the second half.

Excellent game.

Armadillo Run (PC)

It's great and all, but I am completely stuck on level eight. I've not got a clue how to do it within the budget.

Dotstream (GBA)

Checked out a FAQ. Oh, there's a boost button.

Using that little tip I won the first GP with ease on the bus this morning. Second GP was also easy, until the last two races. Died before the end of both of those and thus only came second over the series. And that's not good enough.

Dotstream (GBA)

Cute little racing game. Took a while to work out (and I'm not sure yet if it's possible to get a decent start), but now I've got there, I'm enjoying it. Even though I'm rubbish.

Saints Row Demo (360)

I still can't derail the train.

Dead Rising Demo (360)

This isn't online, so was a safe bet.

Got my best ever photo (958 points) and my worst (0 points) and found a new weapon (skateboard).

Street Fighter II Hyper Fighting (360)

Spent ages trying to get Quick Matches going, but only found one match, which was laggy as hell.

Then remembered I was uploading my honeymoon photos to my web site while trying to play.

Oops.

Pac-Man (360)

Turns out that I can't play Pac-Man before seven in the morning. Especially when I've just got up and my body clock thinks 7am is midnight.

Dead Rising Demo (360)

And a little bit of brutality before bed...

I normally hate demos that time out, but this one's generous enough that I'll forgive it.

Pac-Man (360)

Fearfully addictive, but I do wish the controls worked. The joystick is controller-smashingly imprecise, whereas the d-pad is merely maddeningly so... but the d-pad's uncomfortable.

Still, got my score up to 20,080, which places me third on my Friends Leaderboard.

Saints Row Demo (360)

Yes, yet more fun with pipe bombs. Another hour or so of fun, in fact.

I've played this demo a lot...

I wish cars were easier to destroy. I want to crash into other vehicles and for them to burn.

Dead Rising Demo (360)

This is really very entertaining.

I've been trying to take the best picture possible. So far I've got almost eight-hundred points. That's a snap of zombies being shot at close range with a shotgun.

Street Fighter II Hyper Fighting (360)

Well, I've played it a bit more online. Ranked matches only.

I can win now and again if I use E. Honda, but people really don't seem to like you doing it.

Pac-Man (360)

Upped my score to 13,940.

But is it me, or is the 360 controller rubbish for the game?

Flight Simulator X Demo (PC)

Ground textures awful below 2,000 feet.

Not that you can see them given most cockpits seem to fill up 95% of the screen, leaving you look at complicated gauges and blue sky.

I'm not sure why I bothered trying it really. Well, I do. It's because my brother-in-law has infected me with his enthsiasm and because I want to fly round the Grand Canyon. Which probably won't be in the game when it comes out, anyway.

City Of Villains (PC)

Actually, I didn't really play the game.

I spent ages playing around in the character creation bit and then when I finally started up I got bored before the end of the tutorial.

Saints Row Demo (360)

Oh! Such mayhem!

I do hope the framerate's sorted before the final release. And I hope that stuff doesn't disappear so quickly. A police car disappeared from view as I was firing at it today. I was only about four feet away.

Niggles, though. Generally this is superb fun.

PIPE. BOMBS.

Pac-Man (360)

Demo downloaded, full game bought.

Managed 10,270 so far, which isn't too shabby considering I've been up for 29 hours.

Dead Rising Demo (360)

Take State of Emergency.

Slow it down.

Make it make a bit more sense.

Add taking photos to the mix.

And, most importantly, change the rioters into zombies.

Or something.

Anyway, full game very desired.

Monster Hunter Freedom (PSP)

Hooray! I completed the big quest to get off the one-star levels!

Boo! I fell unconscious twice doing it and so hardly got any money for it.

Monster Hunter Freedom (PSP)

Took a while to get there, but I just did my first real monster hunt.

Three blue velociraptor type things called velociprey were causing trouble and I had to kill them. So I wandered around for a while until I found them, then slaughtered them. Ha!

Strangely addictive game, considering the annoying loading times between each tiny area and the rubbish camera. It's just one of those games where you're always getting new treats and where each new upgrade or item is just out of reach.

So far I've made myself a bone sword and a helmet of some kind. I've bought some nice blue pants and a vest of some sort. Annoyingly, I can\'t use the vest because it's only for hunters who use guns and, after testing one out, I decided against going down that route.

I'm still not entirely sure about how everything fits together, but I'm getting there.

My current "huh?" concerns my inability to cook meat. There's a fire in the starting area for the quests, but I can't seem to use it. And the spit roasting item I was given for a quest was taken away again and I've not seen another. Better check the shops more carefully, I suppose.

Monster Hunter Freedom (PSP)

Initially fairly baffling - I'm travelling right now and I didn't bring the manual - but talking to people and trying different menus and buttons sorted me out. I've now done the first four missions and I'm really enjoying it.

I only stopped because - yes - the PSP's battery died. It has a nasty habit of doing that.

However, I've not been in any danger yet. I might start to hate the game once I start to die.

And why can't I pick up meat that I drop?

Gripshift (PSP)

Back to this. I finished off the Beginner stages with all the goals completed, which made me feel good.

However, I'm coming to the end of the Easy stages and am having trouble simply completing each stage by getting to the end, without even worrying about medals or anything.

New Super Mario Bros (DS)

Coins you can only get with specific rare power-ups are very annoying indeed.

Street Fighter II Hyper Fighting (360)

It's finally here.

I've not bothered with single player yet, just ranked matches online.

Current stats:

Won 1, lost 6.

Oops.

Saints Row Demo (360)

I discovered pipe bombs.

Oh, what larks!

Armadillo Run

Fantastic physics-based puzzle game.

Runs even on pretty rubbish PCs.

Buy it.

(Or download the demo first if you don't believe me.)

http://www.armadillorun.com/

Saints Row Demo (360)

Well, I've turned it on for half an hour before work, so it must be doing something right.

Saints Row Demo (360)

Well, I reckon it's... okay.

I really wish I could accelerate and brake with the triggers. I really, really, hope that's a control option in the final version.

And I hope the framerate is sorted out in the final version. It's pretty shocking at times right now.

And I hope other bits of the city are more interesting - I want to get some air!

Other than that, it seems like it could be an acceptable GTA-clone to keep me going for a while. I'm very fond of the car explosions and shooting people from the car is much easier than it is in GTA.

Lacking in any real spark, maybe, but it could be a good playground. I may well buy it.

I'm damning with faint praise, but I enjoyed it more than it sounds like I did. I just got annoyed with the red demo walls popping up everywhere.